yanling : LOL!!! yea... haha! arent u honoured to be part of it? :p
Today's econs case study day! Bleh..
Oh! Mr seet is now our pe teacher! YaY! Floorball rox!
I better pass my napfa man.. Training real hard! yea right.. haha!
Where has that vjco that i have known before gone to? Sometimes i feel that it's my fault. Who else can i blame? I guess things change, & ppl's perception of ppl change as well. Oh well!
I am so tired, i can sleep just about anytime soon. zzzzZZZ
TIP TIP TIP...
posted @22:29
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Sian ah!
Missed joyce's birthday celebration today. Sian ah!
Went kfc for lunch today. Sian ah!
Maths makeup today. Sian ah!
H3 chem day today. Sian ah!
3rd period pe today. Sian ah!
CO prac today. Sian ah!
Irony of life: Sometimes we don't even know what we have done to deserve what we are going through now. Sometimes we do, but never know what others are thinking about. Sometimes it's scary thinking that people can think about wat you are thinking. What ever the case, i hate life.. I miss the innocent days i had..
Paranoia is scary. So is self-induced stress. I may have unknowingly land myself in the above predicaments, only to discover later the unnecessary of it. Perhaps it's some negative feedback that will result in the effector (me) detecting it & producing a change that would bring it back to the usual conditions. Just hope it doesnt mask what little of mine.
Sigh...
posted @23:05
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Big Big TBY!
Just typed out syf name list for tanboyue. Quite happy to announce actually. Havent seen so many tanbo ppl in ages. 26 in total! It includes EVERYONE!
Xianyue min has 20
Guanyue 15
Perc 8
Cello/bass 8
Guzheng 2
Which gives a grand total of 79! Haha! So close to the 80 limit! Of course quality still has much to improve. Man.. I keep screwing up my solo today. Crap.. Damm nervous sia..
Monday was maths day. Spent my long before-h3 break at canteen gossipping wif class ppl. One word. Enjoyable! So long since i actually talked to a group of people from my class. Feel bad. Sorta like neglecting my class. Haiz..
Tuesday, bio day. Exco meeting lasted from 330 to 730! Yep, my longest exco meeting ever! Thought it would end at 5 for me to join frisbee ppl! But NO! Anw, heard frisbee had a extremely large turnout yesterday. Hehe. Not forgetting that i ruined my reputation in class too.
Wed, chem day. Had lunch at 0915 & dinner at 2100. No other food intake in between. Didnt felt hungry though. Weird. Screwed up in co like free. Solo somemore.
CT science subs results all out. Did fairly well i guess. Not exactly what i expected but okay la. Guess i cant expect much. Been thinking actually, since i gotten back my results.
I am officially going over to muggers' realm! Gedeon calls me mugger chew! But pls dun call me tat. It sounds retarded. I m still ur usual old bear! Just that this bear will no longer sleep as much as he used to in lectures, pon as much lessons as he used to, and not do as much tutorials as he used to. I am a changed man.. bear.. watever! Pinch me whenever i slack okay! Haha! Fred sure does enjoy doing so.. :p
I guess this sums up my thoughts:
....................................................................................
For me to know & for u to never find out...
Looking forward to a slack day tmr!
posted @23:12
Saturday, March 17, 2007
Birthday boy & girl!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY YINGKAI!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BIRD!
Spread the birthday joy! Hope the birthday boy & girl enjoyed their birthday! :) Sometimes it's nice to hope if your birthday comes faster. :) Anw, good la, can watch 300 liao. ArGhz.. Haha! Hope you both stay young & cheerful always!!!! :) Hope yingkai like the present too! :)
CO day camp last day. Guess we are okay. Begin to feel that my solo sucks! I really suck man! Must practise more! ArGhz... Went pp wif mao aft prac to get yingkai's bday gift & dinner before gg to meet yingkai to pass him the present! So long never talk to yingkai le! Suddenly everything start spilling out from my mouth. Maybe it's a good thing too. Opened my ears while i was with mao, then open my mouth when i was with yingkai. :) But we talked about different things la. Afterall, ppl mao know is not equal to ppl yingkai know. Anw, it's nice to spend an entire evening with friends. A break from CO prac & the many days of home-stay that have tormented me!
Sleepy.. :(
posted @00:30
Thursday, March 15, 2007
TIP video for Gi
Another TIP video by xuan. Gi wanted another one that has less of vj & more of other jcs & sceneries... As usual, tip videos are full of pleasant memories. Perhaps it better if things remain as memories. It's only when we miss that we cherish.
Just rmb that i have to complete tip ppt presentation for the next batch when school reopens. Shit... At least we dun hv to see gi tmr...
CO prac is eating into my mental & physical determination, not that i have any to start with. No idea why too. Come back home today feeling damm tired. Super tired. Guess i will retire early tonite.
Hope my solo part for chun is nice. Hope i dun screw it up for syf. Hope it gets better & better. :) Clayton recorded today & i managed to get a copy, though the quality really sux. Haha!
Blogger screwed up & the post i typed is gone. So be it. Perhaps some things are not meant to be said/typed.
posted @21:28
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
I AM REALLY BORED!
Before i begin, i must say sth that i have been wanting to say since god knows when. I think it must be like 1 month ago. Since chinese new year break until now, & i have forgotten to blog about it every single time. Something's wrong with my short term memory & i know it. Since dunno when have i been screwing up orders given to me. Anw, the news is... I HAVE REVIVED 06S33 CLASS BLOG by changing the template! Hehe! Havent post anything though. Shall promise to do it soon. Hope my short term memory dont screw up on me again.
I AM SIAN! I AM BORED! I AM DOWN RIGHT FEELING AS IF LIFE REALLY HAS NTH TO OFFER!
Stuck at home for the past 3 days. Going out with my mom today to help her with work doesnt help. Tuition yesterday doesnt even add on to the sian-ness, coz anything minus negative infinity is still negative infinity. The fact that i will be going school tmr for the whole day for co prac doesnt seem to have any effect either, and that co prac will continue until sat make me feel, well, just like that lor.
Okay. Latest game i am addicted to: Shattered Galaxy. Try
www.sgalaxy.com if you wanna know more. I m lazy to explain. Just control units & fight as groups with other ppl.
Looking thru tip photos bring back nostalgia, esp if u r looking thru to find for the right one to put up on friendster. Everything seem to happen too fast. It seemed like yesterday when i just took those pics. I suddenly miss taiwan again. The people esp. I still think that i could have treated my buddy better. :( Hope i get to meet up with them again! :) It will soon be the last time 2006 tippers come tgt. I really dont know how to describe the feeling. I DON'T WANT TO GROW UP! I WANT TO BE YOUNG AGAIN! A distant voice that cries deep from everyone, and everything is oblivious to it.
I would like to invent a new term: Disability in perception or 'thinking' handicap. Basically, it means when one sees himself/herself as being inferior to everyone around because he thinks he is. A mind over body game that though isnt obvious, is more serious than other forms of handicaps since the other types could be easily isolated and cured.
Pessimism is dangerous & contagious. Shall learn to be more optimistic. I guess ppl like optimistic ppl more since they bring hope with them. Everyone should bring hope with them for hope comes miracles & miracles can do wonders. Nothing is too late, it's just how much u r willing to put urself into.
Okay.. Really think i am crapping too much for my own good.
I think 'so real', theme song of 'after hours' is nice. Gonna try to catch 'after hours' on 5! Hehe!
Shall copy from someone:
My life is in dire needs of a pause & rewind button.
What you do when u r really bored! Help mph arrange their collection of mr men! Hehe! I miss times when i used to luv reading them. I prefer arranging them now. Hehe! Tat was during valentine's day eve btw. Hehe!
posted @23:54
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Sian
It's a saturday night & no one is online! Unbelieveable. Okay, maybe it's just me. Just watched <我猜我猜我猜猜猜> Will watch it occasionally if i rmb to. Quite nice, though often get complains of being crude in their sense of humour. My mom thinks so, even my taiwan buddy's mom thinks so too. But it's nice to watch something that brings one away from the reality of life at times, soothe and relaxes the mind. I swear i laughed at quite a few of their so-called 'crude' jokes. Give them some credit! They are afterall in the entertainment industry, in Taiwan somemore, know how difficult is it to survive there?!?! Haha! Anw, to those seeking to improve chinese, i dun see any harm watching it. Seriously, if u do get their jokes, ur chinese is no problemo man! Even i dun get some of their jokes at times. Haha!
Hehe! Xianglong showed me the above clip on his handphone. Haha!
Anw, should i watch 花樣少年少女? Hana Kini. It's the show with ella & fei lun hai singers. Channel u 7pm. So many people watching. Maybe i should try watching tmr. Haha!
Intended to rot at home on friday & saturday. Ended up receiving news of shangyin lessons for tanboyue beginning on saturday. Poor me had to rush down to school to open the music room for people to collect their instrument, which only 1 person turned up. Slacked around in school with hanteng while waiting for the physics people to finish their paper. Joined maolin & yonghan at parkway where we literally walked around aimlessly looking at games. For once, i dun feel SO unbelonging. Games. Chinese music. Haha! Not that i dont listen to english songs or wat. It's just that 非筆墨所能形容的 feeling. Man... I really feel damm 華派 (hua2 pai4) now... So, maolin got his game & we had our fill at kfc before i took cab down to tanah merah safra for wanyun's chalet. I really apologise j loh. Really dint mean to make u wait so long for me. Anw, tanah merah safra isnt at tanah merah at all! It's at changi la! Sorry maolin & yonghan. Took cab with me until changi. Thank you so much for being with me during the cab journey. :) So, fred, lina, elise & j loh were there & we ate & played cards & majong there. Wanyun had 40% volka with her & she & her friends played drinking games. Some girl lost in majong & had to drink quite a bit. Her whole face was red la. The closest i ever got to that was in Taiwan when i took a sip of 8% beer & a few mouthfuls of 4% alcohol (the sweet type). Then they played KNN (kinda naughty but nice.. i think) & continued drinking. We were playing majong & cant even hear ourselves talking. They were screaming! Fred & i pretended we were not listening. Haha! Anw, pity we had so little time together. Sorry for not being able to make it for the movie in time. :) Share a cab wif fred home where the taxi driver told me to do charity in future (i will). Not forgetting a scolding from my parents.
Shangyin this morning was okay. Think shangyin really damm small la. My impression of shangyin wasnt like tat. Anw, it's only temporary. Just bear with it lor. Played lan wif bryan, weeho & junming after tat. My dota really sux... Tio owned...
Stephen Colbert damm funnie la! Haha!
I am really damm tired liao...
posted @01:39
Friday, March 09, 2007
Over! All Over!
OVER! FINALLY OVER! COMMON TEST IS FINALLY OVER!
Chem was okay. For once, i finished chem mcq 30 qns in 1 hour! Haha! Anw, class lunch at pp where we had pie before walking around pp. Sometimes it feels weird, coz it's like we enter gramphone & while the rest indulge in bands such as 'fallout boy' & dunno wat else, i go around looking at chinese albums. Haiz... Have the feeling that my bid in converting to an english-listener (ying1 pai4) has failed, and far from being a hua2 pai4, i end up being a hybrid of both. Haha. I was listening to yes 933 while studying for common test can! Can imagine what ben will say, 'who the hell listens to 933?!?!' Hehe! Me lor! I think ben's choice of song quite narrow. No offence. I just like to listen to everything! Haha!
So, after walking around aimlessly, we all went separate ways. Not surprising. Seekiat's class guys (weixin, krishnan, kiajit, him) plus andreas were watching 'letters from iwo jima' and since i had always wanted to watch the show, (and despite putting class in front of other friends this time) i joined them at PS. Besides, the show was quite late. 4.15pm. So the ppl left (joyce, fred, j loh, me) proceeded to the bus stop after pausing outside a barber shop watching mr bean being shown on a tv INSIDE the shop. Haha!
'Letters from iwo jima' is nice! Very emotional. Krishnan & seekiat claimed they were close to tears. Me, on the other hand, didnt feel much, though i think the story line is very nice! Haha! It's gross how the japs suicide! Unpluck a grenade & hold it to ur chest. Wl. Sick. NC16 somemore. Anw, been a long time since had time to talk to krishnan & andreas. Crapped a little. Haha!
So.. Seekiat, foong, chengwei overnight majong at dua liap's house. Seekiat ask me go but as usual, mom dun allow. Tmr wanyun's chalet also cant go. Sux man... Stuck at home. First thing i did when i got home.. Reformat my stupid win 98 com tat crashed. For some stupid reason, after reformatting & playing rollercoaster tycoon 2 on it, the com crashed again. This time, i formatted my com but cant install the stupid operating system. So my win 98 com is still out of action. Crap.. Looks like i need an expert's help.
Can an expert also teach me how i can reformat a win xp com without the win xp cd? I heard from terence tat there's some inbuilt programme...
Insensitivity should be my middle name. Perhaps that's my biggest downfall in life. Worse. I think i try too hard at times that it made me even more insensitive. It hurts just to think about it. But still, what's over is over. I can only offer my sincere apology to those around me. Really sorry.
I am tired.. Really really tired..
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Pieces"
I tried to be perfect
But nothing was worth it
I don’t believe it makes me real
I thought it’d be easy
But no one believes me
I meant all the things I said
If you believe it’s in my soul
I’d say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I’m trying to let you know
That I’m better off on my own
This place is so empty
My thoughts are so tempting
I don’t know how it got so bad
Sometimes it’s so crazy
That nothing can save me
But it’s the only thing that I have
If you believe it’s in my soul
I’d say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I’m trying to let you know
That I’m better off on my own
On my own
I tried to be perfect
It just wasn’t worth it
Nothing could ever be so wrong
It’s hard to believe me
It never gets easy
I guess I knew that all along
If you believe it’s in my soul
I’d say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I’m trying to let you know
That I’m better off on my own
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well... I have been a single child for 17 years now...
posted @01:16
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Angels of Mission
Got addicted to Angels of Mission (無名天使3D), some hong kong show on channel u 10-11pm. Will be watching it every day until monday's last episode. Means that i lose 1 hour of studying time today & tmr. At least i save a little time by blogging during advertisements. Hehe.
Anw, Mr Chan gave us a full day yesterday due to the good A level results. Apparently, 50% gotten 3As or 4As. Not bad. But only spells more headache for us as we feel the pressure. So be it...
Econs not up to standard, so is GP. Both expect deprovements. For some reason, the more i write, the more incoherent i feel i get.
11pm now & i barely finished math & barely started bio. Crap...
Okay.. Think i am getting a mind block. Cant concentrate on blogging. Maybe i will have better luck with bio. I better... Anw, the show is over.. Ciaoz..
posted @22:51
Monday, March 05, 2007
Finally
Finally, able to blog. Unfortunately for me, it has to be during such a wrong time. Apparantly, my dad has barred me from using his laptop since 2 weeks ago. My crappy win 98 (yes! i still hv a win 98 at home even though they are selling vista now...) desktop refuse to let me read blogger's website, so i have no alternatives to blogging. Weird enough, that crappy com of mine actually crashed, and so my dad has left the laptop on at home... For me to use at such a stupid timing. I still hvnt lose my urge to blog after so long. Have much to blog about, but m faced with the usual predicament of forgetting them when my hands land on the keyboard. Who cares? Seriously?
Many things happened over the past 2 weeks. Both happy & sad.
Happy for my A grade for A level chinese. Sad for those who were upset over their grade. (Sorry for being around when you didnt want me around)
Happy that i managed to learn to live with all these weird thoughts that suddenly engulfed through my mind. Sad that another soul close to us no longer have the chance to think like we do. (Life is short. Cherish it. Even those emo moments. Coz you may never get the chance to do them again.)
Happy to see seniors coming back to collect their results. Sad that it would be my turn real soon. (I dont wanna grow up...)
Happy to see a lot of people enjoying themselves. Sad that i actually ended up regretting some of my decisions in life.
Either way, life must go on. Common tests are tmr & i cant deny that fact. So is the fact that the onslaught of yr 2 life is coming. We cant stop time, but time can stop us. But before it does, we just have to make do with what we have. Feeling sad wouldnt change anything, crying wouldnt solve anything. But it would definitely make one feel better. Either way, one must learn to grow up the easy or hard way. I hv merely chosen the hard one. And i think that many out there may have worse experience than me.
SHIT! Common tests starts tmr. Okay.. reality just sank into that nutshell up there. Looking forward to passes. No spectacular results. Pls dont flush me with sarcasm. Seriously. I am just like any tom dick & harry. Plus i found out one thing. I like to play old games during examination periods! Haha! I remember how i used to play pokemon yellow during my sec 4 mid years. And of course my recent addiction to roller coaster tycoon 2 which has a sucky graphics. Okay.. Nvm..
OMG! Deborah's nick has chinese in it! Okay. No pun intended. Just that deborah.. Chinese.. Doesnt seem to fit.. Hehe. Joking joking...
DHS concert last sat was not bad. Of course, it was the usual DHS standard, though i think that they sometimes bring ensemble to an extreme level. Qi zou yang guang. Crazy. How to be together? But at least it sounded relatively nice. The tan bo yue qi zou also quite cool! So many sharps la! Didnt hear any major problems though zhou mo said that they screwed up quite badly. Hmm... Anw, been thinking, how it would have turned out if i had went DHS instead of VS & joined co. Of course, that would never happen since i scored so crappy for my PSLE. Anw, i might have been someone else. Of course, if i didnt go VS, i wun be who i m today. So should i look forward to who i am today or that someone i could have been? No idea... Think my co future may have been slightly better in dhsco though. But made good co friends in vsco. :) So much for thinking...
Off to study! I hope...
Sometimes i feel like a jerk.
Sometimes i feel others think that i m a jerk.
Sometimes i feel others treat me like a jerk.
Sometimes i feel i make myself a jerk.
Reply to tags:
jieying: haha. i rmb i owe u 1, but i cant rmb y. haha
frog: i agree
wonght: oh ya.. debbie.. think i not taking 2 H3s le..
liang: sorry la liang.. u foreva saying tat.. haha..
AMY: okay la.. who are u ah? do i know u?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I open my eyes
I try to see but
I'm blinded by the white light
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain
How could this happen to me
I've made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again
So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
How could this happen to me
I've made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
I've made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
posted @15:28
